tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91757659040680036702011-04-21T22:18:01.404-04:00It all started innocuously enough. I was pulling a 12 hour shift watching a door. I checked my email and discovered about 20 spam messages, in German. And I was inspired to haiku.<br><br><br> Germanic spam trend<br> My inbox runneth over<br> I don't speak German<br><br><br> It all went downhill from there.Davidnoreply@blogger.comBlogger221100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-2275711430210459772008-08-02T10:09:00.001-04:002008-08-02T10:12:00.958-04:00Saturday yard work<br />Decapitating the grass<br />it's kinda gruesome<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-227571143021045977?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-14123892719166997892008-07-31T23:20:00.001-04:002008-07-31T23:22:34.776-04:00Really bad child care<br />If you leave the gate open<br />The kids will escape<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-1412389271916699789?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-16830498403620790522008-07-27T11:13:00.001-04:002008-07-27T11:15:39.847-04:00We drink way too much<br />My head is pounding so hard<br />I long for sweet death<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-1683049840362079052?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-19209541050217720892008-07-27T10:46:00.001-04:002008-07-27T10:48:41.052-04:00Army drinking team<br />together again at last<br />let the games begin!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-1920954105021772089?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-43622336803761495352008-07-22T10:48:00.002-04:002008-07-22T10:50:34.086-04:00Hot as a snake's ass<br />9:30 is too early<br />to sweat through my shirt<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-4362233680376149535?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-78435450739159951812008-07-22T06:12:00.001-04:002008-07-22T06:14:18.744-04:00A/C was too warm<br />I woke up stuck to the sheets<br />...and so my day starts<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-7843545073915995181?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-9809582762830665162008-07-21T22:47:00.005-04:002008-07-22T06:07:43.384-04:00<a href="http://www.wickles.com/">Wickles</a> are pickles<br />They make my mouth jump for joy<br />I think mouths don't jump<br /><br />on hindsight, I was loaded last night<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-980958276283066516?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-88806574854456626162008-07-21T22:06:00.002-04:002008-07-21T22:11:20.896-04:00Dollar domestics<br />Yuengling is the best tonight<br />Get drunk on the cheap<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-8880657485445662616?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-25169491319374239332008-07-20T21:15:00.001-04:002008-07-20T21:18:23.367-04:00Wheeled rolling luggage<br />If you need wheels to move it<br />Check your god damn bag!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-2516949131937423933?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-58589326314011574582008-07-19T12:59:00.004-04:002008-07-19T13:03:39.469-04:00Children in airports<br />I know Grandma misses them<br />But, damn, they are loud<br /><br />(posted from gate F31 in Philadelphia)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-5858932631401157458?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-19856566007682902772008-07-17T07:43:00.001-04:002008-07-17T07:45:17.584-04:00A business trip. YAY!<br />Spend gobs of government cash<br />Accomplish little<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-1985656600768290277?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-68204795181520163672008-07-16T09:47:00.001-04:002008-07-16T09:49:17.091-04:00Blown projector bulb<br />My spares are an hour away<br />There goes half my day<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-6820479518152016367?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-47071297906163758222008-07-15T17:55:00.003-04:002008-07-15T17:59:27.980-04:00My Jeep is open<br />It rains off and on all day<br />My butt is still damp<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-4707129790616375822?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-8213339161409560062008-07-14T14:03:00.001-04:002008-07-14T14:05:55.909-04:00Expense report hell<br />incomprehensible forms<br />rejected again<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-821333916140956006?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-36156478634753526022008-07-13T18:54:00.001-04:002008-07-13T18:58:20.818-04:00Just finished Babel<br />I died a little inside<br />oh, so depressing<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-3615647863475352602?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-81424789688605567342008-07-13T11:16:00.001-04:002008-07-13T11:17:45.184-04:00July, too damn hot<br />Mowing the lawn is torture<br />Astro-turf, great plan!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-8142478968860556734?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-52127245131065265932008-07-13T08:10:00.001-04:002008-07-13T08:11:50.519-04:00Stinking flea markets<br />I hate the smell and the trash<br />No one wants your crap<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-5212724513106526593?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-78948932278459964052008-07-12T07:02:00.000-04:002008-07-12T07:03:57.933-04:00Early morning rain<br />Saturday will be lazy<br />Watching the weather<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-7894893227845996405?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-78400646258805203132008-07-09T14:46:00.001-04:002008-07-12T07:06:51.651-04:00Holy big red bug<br />Crawling around in my yard<br />Glad I did not touch<br /><br /><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-size:12;"></span></span><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;" ><a href="http://eny3005.ifas.ufl.edu/lab1/Hymenoptera/Mutillid.htm" target="_blank">http://eny3005.ifas.ufl.edu<wbr>/lab1/Hymenoptera/Mutillid.htm</a></span><br />yuk...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-7840064625880520313?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-1022971823822568532008-07-09T14:37:00.000-04:002008-07-09T14:51:39.918-04:00This day will not end<br />Freedom cannot come too soon<br />Get out of this hell<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-102297182382256853?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-17254278682862677062008-07-08T22:10:00.001-04:002008-07-08T22:11:58.956-04:00Brooke and Dave stop in<br />Why oh why did they leave me<br />with smoke, beer and drunks<br /><br />(via text message from Kristin)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-1725427868286267706?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175765904068003670.post-48948980843467023962008-07-08T22:06:00.000-04:002008-07-08T22:09:37.778-04:00It's such a slow night<br />Gilligan's Bar Tuesday night<br />Bartender stays bored<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9175765904068003670-4894898084346702396?l=iffyhaiku.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Davidnoreply@blogger.com0